


List

by httpsawesome



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Recreational Drug Use, you can tell ive never done drugs lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 02:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13331442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpsawesome/pseuds/httpsawesome
Summary: Sometimes it feels like Grantaire is such an inspiration that Jehan is left with hundreds of things to write, to ponder or think about. Just as soon as he gets a scrap of something running through his brain, Grantaire does something else that captures his attention just so and he forgets the first thing. It’s gotten to a point that every time inspiration snakes out from Grantaire and wraps itself around him, even briefly, he puts it in a list to write about later.





	List

**Author's Note:**

> I've fallen into the Jehantaire pit and I refuse to get out

  1. “the indescribable. first contact. however the fuck you should word it. im not a poet yet.” Jean, 2012



Whenever he eventually does use something from his ‘Grantaire/Inspiration’ list he crosses it off. He considers it his own to-do list. But there’s been one thing sitting at the top that he has yet to write about, the first thing he wrote down when he started the list.

It was high school, back when they were new friends and Grantaire was still going through his ‘I need to be an obnoxious asshole to get any sort of attention because I think my personality isn’t enough’ and Jean was going through that phase where he went by Jean. They were in a class that only Grantaire paid attention to, just so he can make jokes and be considered the class clown.

“It takes a lot of work to be a class clown.” Grantaire says frequently. All the time. To everyone. “No one understands the work that goes into it. You can’t interrupt a lesson with a joke that is _disconnected_ from what the teacher is talking about! The joke wouldn’t land!”

As usual, the class was loud and overwhelming. Jean was lost in a book while Grantaire had momentarily given up on his pursuit of attention and sat, bored, in his peripherals. Jean was paying him no mind.

Then, suddenly, he felt a light touch on his face.

Grantaire had moved some hair out of Jean’s face and curled it around his ear.

Jean looked at him in surprise and Grantaire copied not only the exact same surprise, like he didn’t know he was doing it, but also a look of panic at being caught. Grantaire was silent for only a second - possibly the longest he had been lost for words - before he babbled “I’m bored as fuck. What are you reading?”

The moment had passed them by uncommented, but Jean had not forgotten. He most likely will never forget.

 

  1. “new titles never feel like they fit. you have to grow into them.” Jean, 2014



Years later they were in college, still friends, and had tricked themselves into believing that they were adults. Jean still went by Jean but in a more pretentious way. Grantaire had become much less of an asshole, and both of them had started on the path of mellowing out. Literally.

“No but like,” Jean had said from where he was laying on his back on the hard ground. Grantaire had chosen to occupy the couch they had ‘acquired’ from when they chased their third homophobic roommate away and he conveniently forgot it when he changed rooms. “like, finding out that people are actually emotionally connected to gender was wild to me.”

Grantaire takes a drag, exhales, and speaks with a raspy tone. “What’cu mean?”

“Like,” Jean continues. He loses some of his talent with words when he’s high. “I always felt like people were exaggerating? When they talk about feeling like a man or whatever. Like people actually feel like a gender.”

“What did you think they felt?” Grantaire says instead of saying that Jean was dumb, or laughing outright like he said a joke.

“You just stepped up four appreciation points, my friend.” Jean says what would usually stay in his mind. “But seriously, I sincerely thought everyone was in on the joke. Gender is the joke.”

“Gender is a construct sure, but it makes for a really shitty joke.”

“Right!” Jean raised his arms in exclamation, left them hang for 10 seconds, then let them flop to the ground.

“You ever think you could be nonbinary?” Grantaire asked. He offered Jean another hit but he was ignored.

“Don’t I have to, like, have an emotional reaction to being referred to as any gender?” Jean can’t recall feeling an inherent dislike to being referred to as sir, or even madam if he dips into his imagination.

“There’s not a fucking rulebook for this sort of thing.” Grantaire takes Jean’s rejected hit.

Jean doesn’t say anything, just turns his head to look up at Grantaire. He - or they, realized something in that moment. The two of them surrounded by hazy smoke, Jean wearing one of his five basic outfits he has, before he developed into a style, and Grantaire in a ratty band shirt and boxers because “if I’m home, my thighs are out. No exceptions.”

Jean realized that he might be in love.

“Can I finish that?” He begged and didn’t wait for Grantaire to answer.

 

  1. “the acceptance of one is sometimes just as important as the acceptance of many.” Jehan, 2014



Jehan did eventually switch to gender-neutral pronouns and they also changed their name, for the hell of it, and Grantaire was the first one to find out.

“Fucking aces.” He nodded. “I’m going to go take a depression nap, but thanks for telling me.” He clapped them on the shoulder which on most occasions was a very masculine act, but Grantaire always had a casual, gentle, and affectionate way about his touches.

Jehan told the rest of the group the next day. It was a much more emotional affair, with hugs and Jehan spilling a few tears, but a part of them felt that it was significantly less terrifying after going to Grantaire first.

 

  1. “when words fail you, just know that unrequited love is a bitch.” Grantaire, probably. Once a week since 2013.



The strange thing was, Jehan never fell loved slowly. He loved lots, and often, probably fell in love a few times before this, but it has never snuck up on him. It sucks even more when Grantaire is obviously in love with a mutual friend.

The relationship between Enjolras and Grantaire is a lot less like being surrounded by firecrackers that could go off any minute now that Grantaire has mellowed out and Enjolras has calmed down. They still debate constantly, about everything under the sun, but now it’s an entertaining show rather than bad jokes and overdramatic insults.

As far as Grantaire has known Enjolras, Jehan has listened to him gush.

“He’s so fucking hot, holy shit.” Grantaire sat upside down on the couch, feet in the air and hair barely gracing the ground. Jehan sat crossed legged on the very same ground, facing Grantaire, running his fingers through Grantaire’s curls for fun.

“Every time he says something I think of the line ‘there’s fire hidden behind beauty’.” Jehan answers honestly. They pushed his curls over his eyes briefly before letting it fall.

“That’s so damn accurate. Who’s it from?” He does not react when they fluff his hair up suddenly before going back to gentle back to front grazes.

“Me.”

“Then it’s the best line I’ve ever heard. You’re my favorite poet, you know.” Grantaire made sure to make eye contact to show that it was genuine.

Jehan blushed red, smiled, looked away, and didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, you’re probably sick of hearing me be a pathetic piece of trash. What’s going on with you?”

“I always love hearing what you have to say.” Jehan stops momentarily to really sink it in. “I was thinking of growing my hair out.”

“How long?”

“I figure I’ll find out when it gets too long.”

“Nice. Sounds sexy, sounds fresh. I love it.”

“Stop making me blush or I swear I’ll walk out right now.” Jehan teased, but seriously.

“I’m just saying it would be even harder for people to resist you once it’s long enough to grab.” Grantaire gave him an upside-down smirk.

Jehan tore himself away for Grantaire and walked into the other room.

“No wait - shit!” In his rush to follow them he fell off of the couch and bumped his head.

“There’s ice in the kitchen!” They yelled but didn’t turn around.

 

  1. “unrequited love isn’t so bad, as long as your loved one is loved.” Jehan, 2015



Jehan thinks there’s worse things in live than to love someone that loves someone else. He isn’t jealous, not sad, just accepted to the fact.

Grantaire and Enjolras date briefly, brief enough that when it’s revealed that they have broken up Feuilly yells “You guys were dating?! I only missed one meeting!”.

Really, Jehan is proud of themselves for not breaking up too much about it. It seemed like they were still working off the hangover from when Bahorel took them on a bar crawl to start the moving on process (because you can never hide a crush from Bahorel, no matter how small) then when Grantaire came over in his pajamas in the middle of the day, silently holding his arms out for cuddles.

‘I’m never going to fall out of love.’ Jehan thought when Grantaire buried his face in the crook of their neck in sadness.

 

  1. “good fucking god you guys are so cute.” Bahorel, 2016



It felt like the moment their hair could be considered ‘long’, Grantaire had gotten into the habit of tucking it behind their ear. This time it actually stayed tucked.

Grantaire was much less likely to panic at being caught doing something intimate, but Jehan didn’t want to take the chance. The first time he had done it in years it was in front of the rest of the Amis while they were together watching a movie. Jehan was momentarily distracted by their phone when Grantaire moved a lock of their hair behind their ear.

Jehan did not look up this time. They did not stop in their movements. Everything in them made sure to not bring attention to it so that he wouldn’t stop.

It was the same as the first time years ago. Starting at one end of their cheekbone and following the entirety in a single, gentle caress.

When Jehan eventually did look up they caught a lot of passing looks from their friends, mostly teasing and easy to ignore (they did have to throw a pillow at Courfeyrac for making _kissy-faces_ because that’s too far).

They spared Grantaire a fleeting glance and he didn’t have a panicked look, instead he leaned back like he didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.

 

 

  1. “falling in love is literally the actual worst.” Grantaire, 2016



“He looks cute.” Grantaire said, which was strangely noncommittal compared to how he usually comments on Jehan’s crushes of the month.

They still get crushes way too easily and even though it fades very quickly, they still grip onto the long-lost hope that _maybe_ one day it will help them get over the crush on their best friend. Probably not though. But maybe.

“His name is Montparnasse and he helped me when I accidentally locked my keys in my car by picking the lock and he has a cute butt.” Jehan had stopped shoving their phone in his face, forcing him to gaze upon the picture he snuck of him, and then stared at it themselves.

“Sounds untrustworthy.”

“Didn’t Enjolras do that exact same thing for me before?”

“Doesn’t change the fact that that was a shady as fuck move.”

Jehan put down their phone. “Are you feeling alright?”

Grantaire looked away and paused seemingly to think, which was very strange since Grantaire is an expert on saying everything that crosses his mind without pondering on it for long. “Do you get jealous?”

“I tend to fall in love too easily to get jealous.” They said instead of commenting on the suspicious change of topic.

Grantaire didn’t look back at them for another minute. He looked. . . sad.

“Do you want to watch that one show you really like?”

“Please. Parker always makes me feel better.” Grantaire didn’t sound any happier though.”

 

  1. “when did my friends find out about it and why are they such assholes?” Jehan, 2016



“Oh my god, when are you two going to make out?” Courfeyrac exclaimed.

“Even I noticed you two, and I didn’t notice I liked Grantaire until Courfeyrac told me.” Enjolras revealed.

He obviously fucking loves you, don’t be an idiot.” Eponine kindly lied.

“He keeps calling me for advice as if I would know how to help his crush on you.” Feuilly teased.

“He’s been sad, did you guys break up? Wait, you never dated?” Bossuet questioned.

“I have a list of ideas that I think could get you two together!” Joly showed them a full binder.

“You know Grantaire has never made the first move before. He just gets sad.” Combeferre said gently.

“You text like someone who’s pining for someone that’s pining for you.” Montparnasse said before he deleted them from their contacts.

“Did you read Joly’s fanfiction about you guys? It gets hot.” Musichetta made it weirder.

“The fact that you’re not dating makes it weird that I copied you two for me and Cosette’s date night.” Marius said cutely.

“Grantaire already really likes you! If you just take your pants off then the deal is sealed.” Cosette smiled innocently.

 

  1. “can I get credit for this?” Joly, 2016/2017



Risks are a spice of life. Taking a risk is the only way to move this along. It probably wasn’t going to ruin his closest relationship and drive away their best friend forever.

If this doesn’t work they’re killing Joly.

It was new years. Courfeyrac’s house. And Jehan was going to follow into the tradition of kissing someone at the stroke of midnight and then reveal their feelings in a poetic way that only they could.

Kissing Grantaire is like kissing the embodiment of risk. You have no idea how it will turn out until the consequences are staring you in the face.  

“I really like you.” They said.

“What.” He stared blankly.

“I would like to kiss you more if you want.” They said.

“Oh my god.” He fainted.

“He’ll wake up in ten minutes.” Combeferre silently handed them an ice pack.

He did wake up in five minutes.

“We should probably talk about - “ Jehan started before Grantaire gripped their face and kissed them back finally. It was the exact passionate, love filled kiss that Joly’s writing had promised.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
